just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Alive.
So much puke
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
