So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
