And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
