I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize