textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
