I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
