My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
