I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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