tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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