I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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