look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
