I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
