i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
