Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
