I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
