i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
