Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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