literally had 100 drinks last night.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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