My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
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