I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
