Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Boobs speak an international language.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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