as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
