but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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