Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize