I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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