I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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