I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
