You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
