Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
