I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
