Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
COCAINE IS GR8
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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