i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
