I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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