walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize