At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
