Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize