Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
