Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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