I wannas sexs uuuuu
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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