I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
