RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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