Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You may now shotgun with the bride
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
