I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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