i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
