I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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