ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
