walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
