WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
