Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
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