I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
