Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
