okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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