just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
