just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
