I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
