Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
well you can't waste a boner
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
