No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I need moral support for this bender
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
