dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
