Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
